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KERUV Intermarriage has caused tension in families starting with Abraham, portrayed vividly by Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. It probably affects everyone here tonight either directly or indirectly. Keruv is the Conservative Movement’s response to intermarriage, and specific plans are developing at Northern Hills to address the needs of families that are directly or indirectly affected by intermarriage. This past summer, Rabbi Barnard and Barb Goldstein received an invitation from the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs for Northern Hills to participate in seminars on how Rabbis and Congregations might respond to intermarriage. These seminars were held the end of November and the beginning of December. The seminars were held at Adath Israel; Rabbi Barnard and Rabbi Lewis participated in a Rabbinic Think Tank on Halachic issues and concerns professional leaders might have related to their congregations’ plans for addressing intermarriage. Karroll Miller attended sessions on KERUV. The root of KERUV means “to bring close.” KERUV is a program to reach out to intermarried couples, to couples and families in which both spouses are Jewish but their in-laws and other relatives are of another religion, or other Jews who are marginally affiliated or not affiliated with a Synagogue or any part of the Jewish community. Barb also attended sessions on KERUV at the Biennium Convention of the United Synagogue. The goal of KERUV, as articulated by the Leadership Council of Conservative Judaism, is the strengthening of Jewish identity among Jews, and affiliation with the Jewish community leading to the establishment of a Jewish home and family in which Judaism is the only religious tradition that is practiced. The target population for KERUV should include Jews and their non-Jewish significant others, together with unaffiliated couples, and people in search of their Jewish roots. Initiating KERUV programming is by no means an endorsement of intermarriage. Those of us who have young children must continue our expectations that our children will marry Jewishly. It is only an acknowledgment that times have changed. Observing Shabbat and Jewish holidays at home, giving our children a Jewish education, including attending Mercaz High School, going to Camp Ramah or Camp Livingston, participating in Kadima, USY, Birthright trips, gap year spent in Israel, and attending a college with an active Jewish student body all increase the likelihood our kids will marry someone who is Jewish. But many of us parents do these things, and our children still marry someone who is not Jewish. We need to rethink the reasons why people intermarry. We should no longer see intermarriage as rejecting Judaism. As we all know, the Jewish community is significantly different from the one of yesterday. Many of the outside pressures that held the community together are gone. We live in a society that is very open. Our children often have more friends who are not Jewish than friends who are Jewish. If the majority of their friends are non-Jews, it is only natural they will fall in love with non-Jews. By starting a KERUV program, we will be in a position to support intermarried couples. Intermarried couples, like many families today, are separated by tremendous distance from their immediate family. This distance might be in miles, or it may be associated with the issues of intermarriage itself. Because of these issues and the tensions involved in intermarriage, these couples have an increased need for a supportive community. If NHS helps these couples deal with religious and other matters, they are more likely to want to come close to us. Many of the non-Jewish spouses are very supportive of their Jewish spouse belonging to Northern Hills and raising their children as Jews. And to the supportive spouses, we thank you for that support. Another reason for beginning a KERUV program is our most recent experience here at Northern Hills Synagogue. Since moving, we have had a fantastic increase in membership. Approximately 35% of our new members have relatives who are not Jewish. In many of these situations, one of the spouses has chosen to become Jewish. Some of these new members have asked we begin programs to meet their needs. People who have chosen to become Jewish and people who are reclaiming their Jewish roots often bring a type of energy to their Judaism that those born to Judaism do not have. KERUV programs also begin to resolve a demographic problem. The national Jewish population survey of 2000-2001 reports approximately 46% of currently married couples are intermarried couples. These numbers lead us to the assumption that intermarriage is here to stay. Two researchers, Antony Gordon and Richard Horowitz, in an article “Will Your Grandchildren Be Jewish?” used this data and the fertility rate of Jews to predict the number of Jews in the future. They predict that in three generations there will be a 75% decrease in Conservative Jews. Perhaps the best reason for beginning KERUV is quite simply that G-d expects us to respect people of other faiths. Respecting non-Jewish spouses is not only acting in accordance with the Jewish tenet that all people are created in the image of G-d, it also holds out the greatest chance that Jews and non-Jews in interfaith marriages will want to come close to us and to the Jewish tradition. If we are open and respectful, the possibility that some of the non-Jewish spouses will choose to become Jews increases. After all, most conversions occur within the first ten years of marriage, not before marriage. The challenge facing us is: How do we create the appropriate atmosphere which will attract and retain these families to Conservative Judaism and Northern Hills, and still retain our commitment to Halachic Judaism. Northern Hills has a history of careful, thoughtful deliberation before implementing significant change. This practice will be continued. Our programming efforts and initiatives will conform to the Halachic guidelines of the Conservative Movement, specifically the Rabbinic Assembly. Rabbi Barnard in his role as mara d’atra, the arbiter of Jewish Law, will provide the needed leadership. Rabbi Lewis will lead the integration of any new and different approaches to our education programs. We are establishing a KERUV Committee to oversee and provide guidance to this effort. Anyone interested in being a member of the KERUV Committee, please contact Karroll Miller, Rabbi Barnard, or Barb Goldstein. Our KERUV initiative will begin by inviting four or five intermarried couples to participate in a series of information gathering meetings, focus groups if you will. The goal of these initial focus groups is to determine if it is possible for a family in which conversion has not taken place to find a home at NHS. We will ask them to share their experiences as they chose to marry and to affiliate with Northern Hills. These focus groups are currently being organized. They will be run by a facilitator who is a member of NHS. The outcomes of the sessions will present opportunities for us to look at ourselves, and to determine if in fact we are a welcoming, supportive community. Other congregations used this approach. They report information gathered will most likely be summarized into the following categories:
The information gathered will be shared with Rabbi Barnard and the KERUV committee. Rabbi Barnard will determine how some of the information needs to be interpreted and responded to, based on Halakah, and he will respond accordingly. Some of the information will be passed on to other committees, such as Family Education or Adult Education; some will be passed on to the Ritual Committee. Future focus groups may include parents and grandparents of intermarried couples, families in which both spouses are Jewish and there are close relatives that are not Jewish, or other segments of the Congregation that might have unique needs, such as empty nesters. Watch for further updates soon. For more information or to express your views, please contact: Karroll Miller, Barb Goldstein, or Rabbi Barnard. Read Rabbi Barnard's sermon about KERUV here. Read the NHS Bulletin article in the February 2006 issue. |